Darn Neurotoxins

Anticipation is the best tool, and because of that, I am going to postpone the next trimmer post, and give you instead, a day in the life of Caleb Christopher.
So anyway, I'm out doing a huge landscaping job, and it just so happens all the work is located next to cable boxes, phone things, electrical wires, and whatever all that stuff is. As you can see I'm a real good engineer by knowing what all the wires and boxes and things are for. So anyway the whole day I am thinking to myself, "Wow, I am amazing, I have dug up close to 15 wires and managed not to slice through any of them, gosh, I must really be an expert like I thought. All those other lawn companies wouldnt have a chance, they would have more wires then roots pulled up. Ha ha ha, they are so lousy, don't even pay enough attention to miss a wire. Stupid." So just when I was thinking I had great blog material for gloating about my incredible skill with a pick ax, it happened. Yeah, two coaxial or whatever-their-called cables snapped under me. "Darn neurotoxins" I said as I picked up the broken ends, "so much for my blog post." Anyway, because of my quick thinking and problem solving skills, my life wasn't ended. A few quick phone calls, and some clever guessing, and poof - I figure out the cable company they are with, and another poof - the cables are fixed, for free. That was a happy day, the day I realized that neurotoxins could be beat with quick thinking and problem solving skills. Hooray!!

Those old things?

The new craze? Trimmers. Everybody's talking about them. Don't you hear them, fussing over which brand is best, what string to use, what ratio of gas to oil they use? Well, if you haven't, it's simply because you aren't in the know when it comes to the newest fads. It is alright though, there is hope for you because you have found me; the definitive source of everything cutting edge. And I do mean cutting edge. Trimmers, also known as the weed eater, weed wacker, weed whip, and all manner of names, is the new pet rock. They are so fun to operate, when you learn how, and practically anyone in good physical condition can learn. Of course, when you get it down, you will learn fantastic moves that speed up efficiency, and just add that classic cool you always look for when you are out in the yard. Pirouette around trees, swing it, swath it, through the legs, and over the shoulder, with practice, it can be your best dance partner. Check them out, amazing things.
Everybody has their expertise, whether small or large. I may not have any big breakthroughs in expert knowledge or anything, I wasnt ever good in school, but, when it comes to trimmers, I wrote the book. Well, most of it, anything too complicated or useful is in the appendix, and that was written by other people. So basicly, forget that its some small engine thats impossible to understand, and think of it as a destiny. You and your trimmer were made for each other - a bond unseperable. So with that in mind, its time to decide which one to buy. I am going to be posting a series all about trimmers, giving advice on the trimmer for you, the string, and optional accessories. By the end of this, you will be on the cutting edge of the potentially biggest fad in history. Look forward.

It is my duty...

My lack of care when it comes to posting has been evident, however, I realize that the general public DOES in fact need this. I realized my arrogance and pride have formed the wrong impression. Therefore due to my overflowing grace and philanthropic duties, I will now care. I will show great desire to post all the time, and when someone makes note of my slack, I will distress until it is updated. So, enjoy the bounty. It's coming.